Erika Silvermoon
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Phoenix Ravenflame's Blog


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by Blogger

Thursday, January 30, 2003

Ak!! I was just now at the guild and when I got up to turn on the dining room light I made... dun dun dun... a DISCOVERY!! Here is the post I just now made in the guild!!:

" oh my goodness!! "

Ak!! When I woke up this morning and the hall light was off (it's usually on all the time because there is no window in the bathroom and it helps to see the hall and not trip on cats!) I thought my hubby was being energy conscious and decided to turn it off when he left for work this morning... NOT SO!!

We have our old mattress leaning on the wall in the hallway... I noticed the framed dali poster on the wall behind the mattress is now down on the floor... again, I thought my hubby did that as a wise precaution against the cats knocking it down... again NOT SO!! I went to turn on the dining room light, (the hall and dining light switches are together in the same plate...) and the dining room light switch is GONE!! There behind the mattress is a GAPING HOLE where the switch was RIPPED out of the plate! O-o Now I see the cats DID knock down the print, turning off the hall light, and ripping out the dining light switch!! aaagh!!!!

Moonshadow76 (I love my kitties... I love my kitties...)

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Wednesday, January 29, 2003

...I've been watching a talk show on rape... sometimes watching stuff like this helps me work through stuff from my past... One guy who was talking was asked if there are some rapists who just can't be rehabilitated... and his answer hit me and bothered me. He said something to the effect of "we have to realize some of them will not stop and will continue to prey on our women and our children." I know he meant well... but it hit me HARD that he didn't say "we have to realize they will continue to prey on US" he separates the "WE" as being men, and the women/children as being SEPARATE from that "we" so "we" aren't protecting ourselves, "we" are protecting something as an object OUTSIDE of ourselves. :-( Just talking sometimes shows me how a person thinks of women as separate and different from the rest of society, of "us." :-(

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First night of sleeping on the magnetic mattress from my parents went MUCH better than I was afraid it would! ^-^ I woke up without a backache like I was getting on the old mattress! The old mattress is leaning up against the wall in the hallway and the kitties are enjoying perching on it... problem is they are erasing the dry erase board messages my rubbing against it while lounging up there!! We're hoping to give the old mattress to goodwill, but we're not sure if they have a pick up service or not. Juan returned the truck before we really thought this part out... :-P We were too excited about getting the NEW mattress and didn't make plans for the OLD one!

We have the new computer SORT OF set up on the little table in next to the couch, we searched and searched and found the extra keyboard and mouse we planned to use with it, and the one thing we KNEW the location of was the extra monitor!! We can't find the discs for the Win XP operating system though!! ak!!! :-( I found all the discs for Redhat though! ^-^ Looks like today will be mostly burning stuff we want to move to the new computer once we actually get the operating system on it. Once we actually get stuff installed on it we'll move the new computer to the computer desk and the old computer over by the couch. The apartment is shrinking... ~-^

The Guild of Magic has a nice makeover, Jamie found some really pretty art/graphics to work from and made a new set for the guild front page, I love the FONT she found and used! ^-^ It was funny I happened to be in the guild board when she started changing colors and I had to go look at the front page to see what was up! She did a LOT of work tweaking the color scheme trying to make it go with the new colors of the graphics, I thought she was finished when she settled on a sort of tan/wheat color for the title bars but someone else didn't like that so she changed it to black on black, which is really different but looks pretty neat. Just takes me a while to get used to. Today she set up a new update to the guild website too, and we've got a new contest! I get to make valentines pictures! If the poor computer lets me... I think I should try burning some stuff off it first because it was SOOO slow the last couple of days trying to make the graphics for my blog!

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Tuesday, January 28, 2003

Boy, what a day... and I've been sick and slept through most of it so far! :-( I woke up earlier, saw Juan had left and the tv was gone, so I know he took it in for repair. I threw up and went back to bed. :-( Now I'm up again, the headache is still pretty bad but not AS bad, the tv is back, and there is the baffle box cushy mattress topper thing we wanted sitting on the couch, and the tv is back!! I love my hubby! ^-^ I hope he gets home soon though. He left a note on the message board in the hall saying he's gone to get the mattress and will be back soon! I wonder if I can take pain pills for the headache yet or if I'll throw up again.... sigh.

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I couldn't sleep so I finished making the new graphics and layout for my blog, now if I can just get it to show up!! Blogger doesn't want to load the template... as always.. :-P

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Monday, January 27, 2003

uuummmm... taquito thingies and s'mores for dinner! :-P

Tomorrow looks like it will be a busy day! Yesterday was a busy day! Yesterday we went to John and Kari's baby shower for Donovan, he should be born sometime next month or late this month! Then we picked up Craig and Celleigh and Moonwolf followed us to the Superbowl Party in the next town our friends were throwing, they even roasted a TURKEY and had fajitas and veggie and fruit platters!! Tomorrow we're trying to do laundry, pick up the mattress my parents are letting us have, pick up our NEW COMPUTER, buy a router, buy a featherbed-pillow-top thing for the bed, take the TV to the repair shop to get it fixed, go to the bank, clean the top of the kitty litter-box, vaccum and treat the areas of the carpet Ember has been peeing on, and put out the new roach poison! Whew!!! Oh, and of course, set up the new computer, and set up the old computer on the smaller computer desk I hauled out of the closet the other day, and set up our digital camera's dock with the new computer!! ^-^

The other night I couldn't sleep and made a birthday webpage for my friend Andi, I think I might make a web set based on it too. ^-^ I'm wanting to do something different here for my blog but keep having different ideas on it, I guess I'll brainstorm and pin SOMETHING down... I want it easier to read. :-P

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Saturday, January 25, 2003

Woke up late, warm in the bedroom but FREEZING cold in the rest of the house!! I moved the poor little heater out to the living room but the cord and plug felt really HOT so I'm trying to give it a break... I opened the bedroom to let the heat out, which means it let the cats in... and I turned on the heater in the wall in the bathroom.

Just started watching the movie "Fierce Creatures" haha!! I should have watched this much sooner, it's great so far! ^-^

I'll be really glad Sunday picking up the mattress from my parents, the blanket we have folded up under the fitted sheet keeps slipping down and then the springs start bruising and cutting me again! :-( My elbow is all messed up. :-( We finally found what we were looking for the other day when we went to Foley's in the mall... we thought we were looking for mattress covers, and found out for that thick cushion we were thinking of we need baffle box feather or fiber beds!!! O-o How baffling!!! ~-^

I'm shuffling stuff around on the computer like mad trying to get everything sorted out and ready for a lot of it to be transferred to the NEW computer when we get it. I'm also now addicted to KaZaA.... sigh. :-P That alone is taking up most of the D drive at the moment!! I only have about 2 gigs free out of 36.... probably part of why things are running all glitchy and slow!!! ^-^

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Friday, January 24, 2003

Wow it's about time I got here and updated what's been going on...

Sunday we went to the fajita buffet for my late birthday celebration with friends, it was great! Then after lunch we all came back to our place to hang out, watch football etc. and talk. LunaCorn found our Mad Gab game and started just reading the cards for the rest of us to guess, I had tons of fun with that, I was fairly good... Juan teased it was because of me trying to understand him mumbling so much! :-P

Tuesday we went running around town trying to do EVERYTHING and we finally bought the digital camera, yay!! It was sold out during Christmas time so we were hoping to get it around my birthday instead, so it worked out. ^-^ We looked at computer parts at the computer parts store too, priced everything, got a GOOD clerk lady this time, and we went home with the info to call friends and ask advice. ^-^ We called Kisty to get to visit with her and we were confused and went to her house to pick her up before going to the computer store again, but she wasn't there!! Turns out she was at her friend's house when she talked on the phone with Juan... oops!! We ran to the computer store before it closed to find out about expandability on everything, and decided to find out a little more about the sound card included with the motherboard before making the final decision. We picked up Kisty and came back to our place to visit and I showed her the new camera. ^-^ The first pictures I took were of the kitties, of course!! Kisty took a good shot of one of the cats up on the back of the computer chair, using the zoom, which I STILL haven't messed with yet. :-P She started falling asleep on the couch while we were watching Adult Swim, so we took her home then. Turns out she was on one of her up for over 24 hours days again!! O-o

We also went to my parents for a little while right after we'd picked up Kisty, my parents have a mattress they will let us use... but it turns out it's MAGNETIC so we had to lie on it and try it out trying to make sure it wasn't too HARD for me, and wouldn't make Juan OVERHEAT because the old magnetic pad thing my parents gave me before was just IMPOSSIBLE for Juan to sleep on when I had it. We're hoping the mattress will work out ok, we plan to try it out for a while, like a month or so, so we can see if it helps or starts making me sick....

We took Ember to the Vet Tuesday in the morning, got her checked out, he gave us medicine for her possible urinary tract infection and showed us how to give it to her, it's in a little eyedropper bottle and we have to hold her and tilt her head back and try to quickly squirt it down the roof of her mouth, so she doesn't taste it so much, and swallows it instead of spitting it everywhere... He also gave us hairball medicine and a comb to help comb out her loose hair so she doesn't get so much into her in the first place!! He combed out about 4 HUGE hairballs when he showed us!! ak!! It was about the size of a KITTEN together!!

So we've been having adventures getting the medicine into the Attack Kitty twice a day now!!! O-o She yowls and squirms and I feel so guilty!! We give her kitty treats afterwards trying to make up for it a little... we're pathetic...

Juan went to the computer store yesterday and actually put in our work order on the new computer, and it should be ready Monday... YAY!!!! ^-^ I'm amazed it cost less than our guestimate, so we actually had money left over, maybe we can get new SHOES soon!! Also, I FINALLY got the checks in the mail for the business thing my parents got me into, almost $300!! O-o!!! VERY exciting for me!! We went out to Pappadeaux to celebrate, and as one last nice dinner out together before I go back on my diet... we just forgot there's hardly ANYTHING Juan can EAT there now that he's allergic to fish and seafood!! eep!! He had chicken tenders and they were really small, so I suggested a side order of dirty rice to go with them, since their rice IS really good and has no seafood... I had the incredible fondue appetizer... It's MUCH more food when just one person eats it!! ~-^ I was STUFFED!

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Sunday, January 19, 2003

Big day today!! Celleigh came over to pick me up and take me to the park with Rosabelle, the puppy I rescued! Celleigh has now officially adopted Rosa to keep her, so I'm happy about that! I got to hold her leash when we took her in PetSmart and got her a rawhide moccasin. Celleigh was showing Rosa to chew on it and I guess I had a funny look and she said "here, you want to taste it?!" I DID!!! O-o The park was nice, but sitting on the stone benches made me get cold so she took me back home, I'm paranoid about getting sicker yet AGAIN....

I spent most of my online day at the guild and trying to get set up learning .php. I signed up for a free site that supports .php and joined the forum there... they suggested I install programs on my computer so I can write and test .php HERE on just my computer before uploading them, so I only end up uploading what WORKS... sounded GREAT... but I'm still a little lost even after installing and trying to run everything I installed. I suspect something is set up wrong because I can't get a .php file to read yet... I was having a TERRIBLE time for a while because a program our friend sent to show us their portraits was trying to force every .php file I wrote to be THAT PROGRAM's files and open in THAT instead of explorer!! arrrrrggghh!! I tracked down and UNINSTALLED Photo Parade, so now finally at least the .php file opens in explorer... but I just see the text of the php code!! :-( I did a google search for .php faq's and I'm going through trying to find something about HOW to tell if you're set up correctly, and whether or not I need to be SAVING and STORING my php files to a specific location for it to work?!?! ...sigh.... I'm reading some of the other interesting sounding questions as I search for one like mine though, so at least I'm starting to learn SOMETHING. ~-^

Juan got out of work early and we went out to eat at... dun dun dun... Taco Bell! (To be said with Demolition Man drama....) Then we went on a quest for Nutty Bars and finally found them, we visited FIVE stores!! ^-^ On the way we also picked up a Mars Bar and the new Almond Snickers bar to do a taste test comparison as they seemed to be essentially the same candy bar!! The taste test was fun. ^-^ We watched the movie Strictly Ballroom and really enjoyed it.. then we watched Project X. Now we should be asleep but Dragonheart just started.... I think I'm konking out though, I want to be up and ready for tomorrow!! I intended to be careful to NOT wear myself out today!

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Thursday, January 16, 2003

What Planet Are You From?

this quiz was made by The Autist Formerly Known As Tim

hmmm... interesting!!

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...I should be asleep...

I can't sleep...

At least I got caught up somewhat in the Milkshape Forums... now have to see what happens next about getting Milkshape finished being registered!! My parents paid for it for my birthday present!! Yay!!! I think it might end up technically registered to my mother though, since we used her credit card... hmmmmm... I got an email with a confirmation number, but not the registration number yet... so I'm not sure how that works....

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Wednesday, January 15, 2003

Well it's finally here, it's my birthday!! :-P Sarah, salza_girl87 in the guild, sent me strawberry cake goodies and a jelly pop on neopets, my first cake and presents of the day!! ~-^ And Jamie wished me happy birthday too! Good start for the day, I'm gearing up to calling my parents and spending the rest of the day with them at their house... always an adventure!! Sometimes I feel bad that I get all apprehensive about spending a day with them like this... they want what's best for me and don't MEAN to torture or torment me... but they often DO! :-( I don't want things I don't want FORCED on me, to put ON my body, or IN my body, or do WITH my body... so much is about forcing me into exercise equipment and strapping magnets on me and eating or drinking stuff.... one of the last times my mother had me strip down to my undies and stand on her special body-fat measuring scale... and I hate it when my dad starts feeling me around the waist to see how fat I am, or wants me to flex my arm so he can feel if I have any muscle left... it's stuff like that that's just all so INVASIVE!! :-(

OK... so wish me luck!!!

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Tuesday, January 14, 2003

...I just realized how out of it I am... I knew my birthday was coming up... somehow it didn't hit me till JUST NOW that it's TOMORROW!! eep!!! The "big three-oh!" ak! O-o :-P

I think it was last night that I was talking to Juan, trying to talk about my feeling about this.... I remember when I was a kid/teenager I truly believed there was a very strong probablilty that I wouldn't live much longer once I hit 18. I had no faith that my parents would let me learn the life skills to support myself and survive on my own, and I figured the way things were going with my mother not wanting kids in the first place that she would kick me out of the house when that was legal. I was actually pretty shocked when it got close to my 18th birthday and I kind of brought it up... wondering if they would let me stay or expected me to leave... I was relieved my mother said I could stay. My dad said I could stay forever... hmmm... I didn't want THAT, just not to be forcibly abandoned with no salable skills or work experience! Then soon after that they pulled another big surprise, they expected me to go to college! But they gave me NO CLUE what was out there to study... no clue about what the working world was like... I was pretty trapped with them moving all the time and home schooling and both of them home all the time with neither one of them holding a job outside the house during my entire childhood!! I found out about 2 semesters into college that there was such a thing as declaring an "undecided" major, I was forced to make something up out of nowhere... so I picked Home Economics over Environmental Science mainly because of my fear of the higher math.... Then I got to thinking maybe that was a good thing, what with all my allergies... don't really need to be dealing with too many chemicals and stuff!! o-O

I started college on my 19th birthday, happy birthday to me! I'm still sad after all my work I have over 120 college credit hours and in most majors that's enough for a degree... but I'm still 18 hours from finishing and with all my illnesses it looks like I may never get to finish. :-( When I started college that was my big chance to be out of the house away from my parents... I was so unused to everything... I was scared to BREATHE in PUBLIC!! O-O I had my first coca-cola when I was 19, my first big mac when I was 23, my first happy meal when I was 24.... There are still TONS of foods and experiences the "normal" average American my age knows all about and takes for granted and it's all NEW to me!! Just this past couple of months I was introduced to something I can't get the name of right... I had it once and loved it... something with a wafer cookie with peanut butter stuff and coated in chocolate... I was calling it nutty buddies... my friends showed me nutter butters but that wasn't it... I hope I find them and find out what they're called! :-P And about 2 weeks ago I had my first Swiss Cake Roll... I tried it and asked Juan "why doesn't anyone TELL me about these things!?!!!??!!"

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Our furnace FROZE the night before last... I wondered why I was SO cold yesterday, I turned the thermostat up to 85 trying to get it warmer, and then I went to bed and slept most of the day hibernating trying to stay warm!! Juan came home last night and I'd only been up a little while, I'd gotten up after 8:30... Juan went over to knock on the repair guy's door, it turned out being almost 10pm wasn't such a bad thing because he works night shift so it was like morning for him!! He came and took the back off the furnace... and there was FROST all over the inside!! Like an old refridgerator that needed to be defrosted!! And then he was scraping frost offf that and realized the whole PIPE that led outside was frozen SOLID too!! So no heat for us last night!! O-o Juan went to my parents house to pick up our electric heater that ended up there. We used that in the living room with us till we went to bed and moved it to the bedroom. We kept checking the furnace thawing before we went to bed... it looked like it thawed out so we called the repair guy and he said to try it... it worked for a little while and then FROZE again!!! Covered in frost and stopped working in less than an hour!! o-O

Today Juan's working all day, it's the day of the funeral for his bosses' father so we figured he wouldn't get his day off this week, but THIS time it's the kind of thing that SHOULD happen. They closed down most of the brother's stores EARLY yesterday for the first time, and put mourning wreaths on the front doors of the closed stores saying what happened. Juan said one of the older brothers had only taken the day off from the store about 3 times before EVER in all the time he's been running his store. Juan will be working one of the main stores and then they want him to come to the funeral in the afternoon, then go back to the store. His main boss, Jude, is taking this pretty hard. Their father was sick in the hospital for a long while before he died and that was rough on him too. I'm wondering what the brothers will do for their mother now that she'll be alone in that big house. I would be very lonely and lost....

Juan's been working for their family over 10 years now, they keep trying to sometimes treat him like he's almost family, they used to have him over for family dinners and stuff, for a while they were trying to convince him to sign on promising to run a whole store by himself if they bought it, but they wanted him for at least TWENTY YEARS and we don't really want to live here the rest of our lives!!

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Sunday, January 12, 2003

My hubby's boss called this morning and left a message on the answering machine, his father died this morning. :-(

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Saturday, January 11, 2003

Well, I figured out that leaving the guild was pretty much me running away and retreating when I should have been reaching out to friends for help... Jamie and Erika both emailed me back and Jamie wasn't mad at me like I thought (in my depressed paranoia...) I thought maybe I'd be guildless and still stay in touch, but I missed it too much and came back today. Feel much better about that decision than I did about deciding to leave!!

Juan was afraid to leave me home alone while he went to the grocery store last night, I was doing really badly and crying a lot... he called Celleigh for me and she isn't doing well either, looks like we're BOTH in full retreat mode at the same time!! She stayed on the phone with me while he went to the store, she told me I can't die yet because I have to live to go through getting the mamogram, and also I can't die yet because when she gets rich she's going to buy a lot of land to do animal rescue, and she's naming it Elise-ain Fields, and I have to go frolic in it! :-P

This morning Celleigh called me to tell me her bird must have been listening to her telling me about how the way I think, dying wouldn't be such a bad thing, that if they told me for certain I was going to die, that would be a relief and I would be happy to not be in limbo anymore, I would look forward to seeing my grandma again and visit the Rainbow Bridge and all the animals etc.... well, her bird died. :-( She never thought she would miss her this much, because the bird was an older bird when she got her and wasn't used to being handled, so she couldn't touch her or hold her, but she misses her beautiful singing terribly.

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hmmm... guess this is partly because I wasn't squeamish about blood....

What Self-Mutilation Are You?

brought to you by Quizilla

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Friday, January 10, 2003

Just woke up for the day... it's after 8pm... my back is killing me. It's good that Juan will get home soon. Had flying and wolf dreams... Coughing up gross gunk again... not sure what medicine to take for the cold anymore now that we're out of the nyquil gelcaps, Juan thinks I need to switch to something else anyway.

I woke up about 4am before this, checked email and puttered around.. erika wrote back, she is supportive, I was so glad she is, I've missed her a ton. I had the wrong email for jamie so it got returned, so I tried to forward it to the RIGHT email, whe she's emailed me from before. I see she's not in my neofriends list anymore too so she deleted me there... I didn't mean to make her mad when I left but I guess I did. :-(

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About to go to bed... coughing is terrible again. :-( We watched the Spiderman dvd together to try to cheer me up... Juan kept worrying and asking what's wrong, and we kept pausing the movie to talk... I ate an entire pint of ice cream... my comfort food addiction right now it seems... I hope I feel better when I wake up. I really know it's not just all in my head that I'm not doing so well when Juan notices and starts trying like mad to make me talk and cheer me up....

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Thursday, January 09, 2003

I left my guild today...

I just sent the following email to jamie, the current guild leader, and erika, the first guild leader.

Hi, I thought maybe I should email to let you know I
left the guild, I wasn't sure anyone would notice...
I've been kind of down lately, I didn't want to drag
the guild down... I feel like I haven't been keeping
up with all the activity in the message board like I
used to, I keep up with what's happening in uj better,
but not by much lately...

I finally decided to leave today but I miss you guys
already... I feel like I wasn't doing much good
anymore though. :-( I took all the guild graphics and
stuff out of my lookup and shop since I figure that
was the right thing to do... I wasn't sure if it's ok
or not to just leave a link in my shop or lookup
recommending the guild... I don't know what's wrong
with me that I'm feeling so down, like I just want to
withdraw from everything and run away from all my
friends and curl up in a little ball somewhere. I'm
hoping it'll get better when I finally get over this
cold I came down with for christmas... it seems to
never end... I sleep all the time or am up too many
hours, everything seems out of whack with me right

Well, I'm glad I'm managing to email you... I'm just
kind of mixed up and messed up and hurting right now.
I don't want to bring that into the guild, it's such a
bright spot in people's lives... I hope you have the
time to write back.

(OK I think I need more of my depression medicine...
I'm crying now...)




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Ouch!! I just woke up because I had a spasm in my sleep and bent my fingernail BACKWARDS!! :-( It didn't break though, I grabbed it and held it... there's some bleeding and bruising at the tip of the nail bed, it's going to look worse as the bruise shows more. :-( I hate it when this happens!! I MEANT to clip my nails shorter yesterday, but got wiped out and took a huge nap from 7pm to 1am instead!! Woke up and Juan had already made what we planned for supper and put it away, he got it back out and re-heated it for me and talked to me while I ate a little to go with my medicine. He surprised me with a little blooming plant he got to cheer me up since I've been sick SOOO long!! Aww! ^-^

Had tons of weird dreams in my nap... interrogating some crazy guy about a bomb, then dragging him with me past a mountain where the greek/roman gods were, into this shopping mall with sliding doors that was supposed to be the passage to the underworld/netherworlds. Lots of creatures/"demons"/monsters shopping there... I was looking at necklaces, got separated from the crazy bomber guy and other companions I was supposed to be with, got threatened by some monster girls, I think I bought the blue sappire necklace I ended up wearing, I got chased out of the mall by some demon guy trying to get me but when I fell down I rolled over to kick at him and he saw my necklace and ran away. Then other demons/monsters were chasing me and one grabbed my leg but when he saw the necklace he burst into flame and black oozing crumbling ash and started disintegrating... I started "aiming" my necklace at whatever else was after me after that... Then at some point I ended up in a tree having an argument kind of fight with some other guy about how old I was. At another point I was at the end of an alley between two fenced yards and I was trying to get an escaped dog back into its yard. Then I was suddenly at a house that was supposed to be MY house, we were having a party, and I was opening the front door letting guests in, some were people I know in real life, like Juan's friend from high school, Craig. Then RJ showed up and started to come in but I blocked him and said he wasn't invited, he wasn't welcome in my home, please leave, and he still tried to come in and complain that it was a party and he should be let in, so I shoved him out of my door and down the front steps. At some point after that I was running through this maze of destroyed trashed out rooms being chased by things again, mostly humanoid, and the necklace was turning them to sludge/ash, but then more started lasting longer as moving skeletons, and one was a dog skeleton demon creature but it wouldn't disentigrate, but it seemed to not be a threat after a while and I followed it running ahead trying to show me something. I ended up in a room that was supposed to be RJ's old room at his mother's house, but it was nothing like it is in real life. I was supposed to find some necklace he had that had the Soulmates logo he used for his fan club WAAAY back when I was 15 or so and my brother and I met him in correspondence. I had another necklace wrapped around one hand that was supposed to be freezing time for me, it froze a demon guy in the doorway as I was hunting through the large dresser of stuff, but it apparantly fell off or stopped working or something because a woman who was supposed to be RJ's mom showed up. Again, looking nothing like in real life. I rummaged through tons of weird stuff, little figurines of animals and lots of penguins... I suddenly realized I didn't have a top on, I knew I did a moment ago, but it vanished when his mom came in, and she gave me this huge ugly sweater to put on, so I did. Then a weird dream version of RJ came in and started talking about his stuff I was looking through, a dream version of his little sister came in (NO one looking like real life!) and she wanted to know what I was looking for. I found a ton of earrings in one of his drawers and asked if they were his, his sister said no they were hers. I don't think I ever found the Soulmates necklace but suddenly I was somewhere in the woods and RJ was wearing a football uniform (??!!) and I was still angry talking to him explaining I WAS still angry with him, and it wasn't just going to go away without him working to repair our friendship. I explained that I had been angry at another friend we both knew, and eventually I was able to feel better about her and have contact with her again, but he couldn't expect to just have a suddenly OK friendship with me again without making any efforts to REBUILD it. I also for some reason said something to the effect that it was very odd but he looked more like an adult/grown up in the football uniform, and suddenly the second I said that he was not in it anymore, but was a scrawny thin chest and shouldered adolescent boy fallen over on the ground and just wearing pants, no shirt, which made him seem even scrawnier. That startled me, I was going to help him up when the dream shifted again. I think that may have been about when I woke up too. I think I'm working through things....

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Wednesday, January 08, 2003

"What Color is Your Vorpal Sword?" - Results:

GREEN Your vorpal sword is flourishing green, rich and beautiful and alive. Your sword reflects your soul's love of life and desire to live. You hold life precious and dear - just make sure you care so much for your own as well.

This was another quiz by the same quiz author.

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What Fantasy Role Are You?

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You are a Priest or Priestess, seeking only to serve your God/s/Goddess/es and Mankind as best you can. You're the necessary healer, and you go out of your way to help people - but without fighting, please. Violence is not the answer.

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Yep, today is DEFINATELY a meandering day!! Sometime between 10am and noon I put hot dogs in the microwave... ate a few cheddy teddy crackers and had a yogurt whip... then about 2pm I found the hot dogs still in the microwave when I was going to put in frozen chicken soup for lunch!! And just now... at LEAST 2 hours later... I find the chicken soup still in the microwave... defrosted but cold... I WILL eventually eat a MEAL today!! aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh!!!!!

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Having fun actually participating in the FlyLady site's big "fling" thing! I just wish we had weighed all the frozen stuff we took out of the freezer, defrosted, and threw away a few days ago before I knew about this! :-P I'll just guestimate... it filled the whole sink with defrosting gladware while we were dealing with it, now we have gladware again! I finally got around to systematically checking all the pens in the cup on the desk and THREW OUT the ones that don't write!! Only been meaning to do that for a few YEARS now... found weird stuff in the bottom of the cup too... the cap to the Lightsaber pen I had... lumps of candle wax (??!!!??? o_O ) bottle caps, used staples (??!!??) my broken nail file, and, to top it all off... a broken nail.... I kept all the screws and bolts... not sure where they all GO but I know they can go somewhere. I finally threw out old shampoo from over 3 years ago that I hate the smell of and won't ever use up anyway, same for some foundation cream... I don't wear much make-up unless it's an occasion anyway, and that stuff made my face ITCH! :-P

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I'm having another of my "meandering" days today... woke up about 7:30 and took my cold medicine... I MEANT to go back to bed, in fact, I DID but I had pain and had to get up again. I ended up working out the cramps for a while and then on the computer... just doing neopets... then got distracted in neopets help chat... hubby woke up... hubby went to work... noon rolled around... hmmm looks like I'm up for the day. So I went and made my bed and put in my contacts. ^_^ Caught up on WorldSims forums, checked email, and from there I read my FlyLady email and cleaned the house some... I've been reading the weird stuff people have been throwing out as they clean! Page One of weird decluttering stuff! This is making me want to try tackling the bedroom closet... maybe... if my cough doesn't get me...

I forgot when I woke up yesterday that my hubby was off for the day and I got to KEEP him! sort of... he had to go in to one store in the morning to help open and work about an hour or so... then when we were running errands after lunch he had to go work at one of the OTHER stores... supposed to be from 1:30 to 2:30... I was with him so I just went along... it turned out to be more like TWO hours than one... didn't get out of there till about 3:30ish!!! I was starting to worry that the boss wasn't coming back anywhere NEAR the time he said.... After that we dropped by Kisty's but she wasn't home, we didn't just drop off her Christmas present because I want to SEE her open it! :-P We went looking at computers some more and tried to figure out about what we want... and went to Office Max to see about how much just buying components would be... need to check out prices on components at the computer parts store. I'm wondering if we could at all possibly use the shell of the old tower we've got....

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Tuesday, January 07, 2003

The dying giraffe has left the building....

I'm still sick though. :-( Spent a few days actually (gasp!) OFF the computer! Ak! Withdrawal! End of the world! Apocalypse!! ~-^ Then I sepnt a couple of days feeling too icky and out of it to type or think, so I did mindless neopets, dropped by WM a couple of times, AMZ a couple of times, and mostly wandered around the web READING stuff. Got an email yesterday that was one of those virus warnings, so of course I ran off to check it out. Another hoax as usual. That made me realize I didn't have my bookmarks anymore for all the places I usually look up stuff like that, so I spent the day bookmarking virus hoax reference sites, which led to Urban Legends sites, which led to ghost legends, where I found some Mexican ghost legends, which led to finding a great place full of folklore tales/faerie tales from MANY countries, and another place with a lot of Mexican faerie/folklore tales in both Spanish and English, so I can learn more Spanish there!! The last turned out to be part of an odd but interesting place called "g-world" where I wandered around someone else's weird sense of humor, rode a monorail tour of the site, watched the evening fireworks display, and watched the nightly electrical parade.... Fun with Flash, what can I say?

My brother called again last night, just to talk and visit on the phone, that was a great surprise! Unfortunately at THIS stage in my endless cold o doom, my voice is going out on me. I sound TERRIBLE and pathetic! Juan got to talk for a good while, and then I got to talk for a while, his story in Shanda the Panda is out, his backup story in something else, I forget the title, is coming out soon, but he doesn't know when his work on Atomic Panda is coming out. The title I can't remember sounds like another funny animal comic though, looks like he's found a niche there and is becoming a regular with that company, so they like his art and that's good! He's mostly making a living on his commissioned art though. They got the Sims Online, I'm all excited he has that!! Maybe someday I can get it too and we can visit each other as sims! :-P We're geeky... spent about the last 1/2 hour or so of the conversation with me asking questions and him telling me about how the game works and how it's going for him! Had to let him go when Juan's cooking filled the house with smoke and I started choking too hard to talk... just a little scorching of the sausage, not too bad, gave it a smoky flavor, but we had to open a window to air the room out some.

I hope I get well enough to start working on all my graphics related projects again. Most of the time lately I've been wearing my glasses and can hardly see. I've had lots of ideas in my delerium though... and spent the last few days watching a lot more of the Home and Garden television and Discovery Home, and the BBC shows like changing rooms and ground force. For some reason I enjoy shows like that and the little sim-crazy in my head is oogling everything getting ideas for STUFF to make... someday.

I've been having a LOT of pretty bad pain lately, crying and not able to walk upright, really bad cramps too. For a while I was taking pain pills ever 4 hours, that was for about 2 days of it but it's better now. Juan heated up the herb pack a lot for me to hold over my abdomen when the pain was really bad at night. I've been having a lot of nightmares and rough wild dreams related to the pain too. And I've been waking up all soaked in sweat and cold and clammy, with terrible backaches. I think we really have to do something about getting a new mattress soon. We've tried to solve the springs poking me problem by putting a thick blanket folded up under the fitted sheet, but I thrash around so much in my sleep we have to straighten that out every night again.

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Wednesday, January 01, 2003

Well, this has been a VERY long "day" for me... I woke up yesterday at about 7 or 8PM last night because I was sick and slept all day... so midnight came and went and I stayed up... and stayed up... and stayed up... And went ahead and stayed up while Juan took a 2 hour nap, and then we got ready and went out and had TODAY and I haven't slept in over 27 or 28 hours now!!! We went to his parents for lunch and visiting, and then to my parents for visiting, and then we needed to eat, so we came home, took our cold medicine together (how romantic! :-P ) and Juan got back to his friend who we were supposed to take to the New Years Party we missed. We went to Souper Salad and then Krispy Kreme with him and had fun, though I was near crashing except for the sugar and caf-FIEND rush. We didn't get to visit as much as I would have liked, we were both crashing. I'm not happy with the renewed soreness in my throat, I suspect I got chilled again at my parents house. I think I'll just break down and cry if I have to start my cold all over again before I get well....

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Happy New Year!!

It's the new year!! We're pathetic and celebrating at home... it's going a little something like this... hubby coughs, I ask, "Have you taken your cough medicine yet? I have!" He says, "no.." He goes to take it, I go "Yay! It's your first medicine of the New Year!! woo-oooh-oooh-oooh! (kinda enthusiastic squeaky oohs). Then he walks past the Attack Kitty and she swipes at him... "ooh look, it's the first Kitty Attack of the New Year!! oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh!!!" :-P

And now back to watching Mr.Deeds on rented dvd, which was paused for this break.

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